m, let’s define these two words so that we may all agree upon what exactly useless knowledge is.
according to dictionary.com, the definition of useless is:
use-less [yoos-lis]
–adjective
1. of no use; not serving the purpose or any purpose; unavailing or futile: it is useless to reason with him.
2. without useful qualities; of no practical good: a useless person; a useless gadget.
now, let’s define knowledge:
knowl-edge [nol-ij]
–noun
1. acquaintance with facts, truths, or principles, as from study or investigation; general erudition: knowledge of many things.
2. familiarity or conversance, as with a particular subject or branch of learning: a knowledge of accounting was necessary for the job.
3. acquaintance or familiarity gained by sight, experience, or report: a knowledge of human nature.
4. blah blah blah. this word has about 11 different definitions so fuck it. let’s just go with the first one, ok?
so my definition of ‘useless knowledge’ would have to be:
use-less knowl-edge [yoos-lis nol-ij]
-noun
1. knowledge without any practical use except to have a bunch of random-ass things to talk about that is not applicable to any real-life situation (i.e. functionless) except to sound smarter than one really is.
2. usually this knowledge is sourced from watching massive amounts of tv (channels such as the discovery, science, national geographic, the history channels, etc etc) and surfing the internet ceaselessly due to a lack of a life.
many people who are abundant sources of useless knowledge (such as myself) are usually fairly intelligent individuals that a.) either a lack of motivation (see lazy or procastinator) to actually acquire real world knowledge (this is a subject of subjectivity, if that makes any sense) b.) just plain ‘ol don’t give a shit about having any useful knowledge, or c.) don’t leave their house so they don’t have a chance to actually acquire any useful knowledge. and probably marijuana. lots of it.
notice the lack of dingle berries
now, i definitely am guilty of having a bit of useless knowledge and fall into each of these categories, although maybe just a little bit for some of them. you might find that you fall into one or more of these categories as well, right? i mean, you’re here, reading this shit that i’m writing so obviously you’re procrastinating or just don’t have any will, desire, inclination, to actually do something else, or you’re bored.
don’t worry though because i have a solution for you that can help you out tremendously. what is it you say? tell you now? i don’t know, i don’t think your warped and twisted loser mind can comprehend this mind fuck that i am going to bestow upon it. ok, here it goes.
stop being a loser! stop it! stop it! no! no! no! bad loser! bad! get a life! leave the house! stop watching so much tv! don’t spend 20 hours a day on the internet looking at porn and god knows what else!
that wasn’t so bad was it? no that you have the tools to be a productive remember one thing: i fuckin made you. you owe me, big time. and if you don’t repay me for what i did for, you’re gonna fuckin die a horrible, impaled-the-ass-with-a-giant-spike-medival-style-death. got it? good! have a great day, motherfucker.
