once upon a time a general contractor, a 16 year old high school student, and i (an architecture student) decided to help our lawyer friend move in to his new place. as sensible adults, well some of us, we felt up to the challenge of getting a massive couch into a townhouse through a maze of tiny corridors, and doorways. after struggling with and screwing up the much smaller love seat, we decided that a much more complicated solution was in order.
the following hour and a half of improbable proposals ensued: erecting a pulley system, using the lawyer’s suv as a base or crane, erecting a bridge from the neighbors window, breaking the townhouse window, hiring mexicans from home depot, sliding it on the railing and pivoting it while praying that the couch does not crush us, pull us off the ledge, or bewitch us with its irresistible comfort and charm.
queue cigarette break, because this is way too much thought for professional adults, and enter my favorite suggestion. why don’t we leave the couch in the uhaul truck and turn it into a porn set? sort of like a bang bus but we would haul a much larger load. this would actually work out quite well being that I would design the set, the contractor would build it, and the lawyer would handle the many criminal charges that arise from putting a 16 year old in porn. anyways, after snapping back to reality and fearing this oversized phallic cushion of death would have its way with us once the sun set, we decided to just go for it.
as it turns out, after about 60 feet of struggling through the corridor, all it took was a one friendly barbecuing neighbor to bear most of the load. while lounging contently with the sense that our over analyzed professional suggestions actually paid off, we enjoyed some delicious bbq. so thanks random guy, thanks for making professionals feel accomplished.
