our goals

in an age of instant gratification comes importantless.com, which offers no gratification what-so-ever. we are constantly striving to annoy our audience and to induce a sense of vomitification within one’s throat. ever since our inception, importantless.com has been bringing you, our audience, the least pertinent and appropriate content on the net…ever.

issues

with pressing issues such as varying non-intended uses of the wonder drug viagra, alternative fuels such as human urine, and ways companies can creep out their customers with inappropriate promotional products, you can be sure that importantless.com will be there for you, our audience.

we put our lives on the line to make sure that if there ever is a thought, idea, or news story that should never be mentioned to another human being due sheer ridiculosity, pervosity, or just plain ‘ol human decency we will be there to bring them to the light of day.

we don’t care to check our facts or to make sure that a story is in fact real for us to report, publish, and exploit the fuck out of it. we just make sure that it sounds fucking good, otherwise, what’s the point? because, c’mon, who wants to read a story just because it’s true? i mean, it’s gotta sound good and have some of the good ‘ol umph to get going and for people to notice it, right? a fake flashy story is better than a boring story that is real, right? who wants to hear a real story about heroism or bravery unless it is dashed with some perverse debauchery to add some juice?

why?

because, “why not?” so shut the fuck up.

copyright

this shit is copyrighted so if any of you motherfuckers try to steal our shit, we’ll find you. we will hunt your thievin asses down, mutilate, humiliate, desecrate, and any other “-ates” we can think of until you’re good and sorry. which you will be, of course, because we will own your asses. got it? good. enjoy.